Best Jokes

1 votes

You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again"?

"I am 78," the man said.

"78!" remarked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old."

"Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad, she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside for a walk to settle down," the man explained.

"What does that have to do with it?” asked the doctor.

"I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Why do artists never win when they play football?

They keep drawing!

1 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "manjinder" |
1 votes

I don't do windows because...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible ( plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind the dust bunnies because...
They are very good company; I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.

I don't disturb cobwebs because...
I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don't Spring Clean because...
I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.

I don't put things away because...
My husband will never be able to find them again.

I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because...
I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don't iron because...
I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press."

I don't stress much on anything because...
"Type A" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become an ol' woman!

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes
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A man went in to a restaurant and ordered alphabet soup. The man's alphabet soup was in front of him when a bee went inside.

The man cried out, "Waiter, Waiter, there's a bee in my alphabet soup!"

The waiter said, "Yes, sir, and I believe all the other letters are there too."

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "ERS" |