I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop.
“So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop.
“Yes, I have,” I began. “I’ve learned it's time to find a new way home from work.”
Boss: You were on sick leave yesterday ?
Boss: What was the issue ?
Me: I was sick of work.
My son is such an introvert, he can't even lead the silent prayer.
What do you call a sold-out Demolition Derby event?
A smashing success!