Best Jokes

What did the jealous storm trooper say to the friend who stole his girlfriend and was now going to marry her?

"May divorce be with you!"

"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"

"I don't know," replied Miriam, "all of our records were lost in the flood."

There was a teacher who was shouting at his class because they were being lazy. "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of you failed this math class," he said.


One of the kids rasies his hand, "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said.

To the irritation of the judge, a man was trying to be excused from jury duty. "Tell me," began the judge, "is there any good reason why you cannot serve as a juror in the trial?"

The man replied, "I don't want to be away from my job that long."

"Can't they do without you at work?" demanded the judge.

"Yes," admitted the juror. "But I don't want them to realize it."