Best Jokes

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"

"A mongoose."

"What for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose.

"Doctor, doctor, I'm addicted to brake fluid!"

"That is nonsense," begins the doctor, "You can stop anytime."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?

He wanted to transcend-dental medication.

This may be surprising for many of my friends, but I happen to have a date for Valentine's Day...

It's February 14.