Best Jokes

It was a typical noisy dinner at my parents’s home, and Dad was having trouble following the conversations. He kept jumping in with off-topic comments and asking for things to be repeated.

I finally told him he needed to get a hearing aid.

Looking at me as if I was crazy, he said, “What would I do with a hand grenade?”

I came to the realization that my 5 year old was watching too much reality TV when we attended a wedding.

As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle to the altar, he asked, "Is this where the groom picks the one he wants to marry?"

My 5 year old daughter drew a nice picture of a princess and beautiful flowers and sunshine...

Then she brought the picture to her daddy and said, "Daddy, this is a picture of you and me... but I don't have time to draw you."

"This hotel stinks!" a guest complained when he showed up at the front desk to check out.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I got no sleep. Every 15 minutes this loud banging sound woke me up!"

I apologized for the noise and checked him out. A few minutes later, a couple showed up. Again, I made the mistake of asking how their stay was.

"Terrible!" they said. "The guy in the next room was snoring so loudly that we had to bang on the wall every 15 minutes to wake him up!"