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Favorite this joke Studies have shown that married men live longer than single men...
So if you want a longer life, and a slower death, just get married.
One of the youth soccer coaches didn't care much for my refereeing and had no problem letting me know it. Fed up, I politely threatened him with a send-off if he didn't stop.
He calmed down, but an older woman took up where he'd left off. "You'd better control your sideline," I warned the coach.
The coach turned to the woman and barked, "Knock it off, Mom!"
"Are you single?"
"No, I'm plural."
"I mean are you free this Saturday?"
"No, I'm rather expensive."
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled. "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby."
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