Best Jokes
Favorite this joke I was in a liquor store and the owner asked me, "Do you need help?"
I replied, "Yes, but I’ll have a bottle of whisky instead."
A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga to ease her nervousness. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.
One day her friend stopped her and -- noticing her well long, groomed nails -- asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness.
"No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
“Darling, I think the new dryer is shrinking my clothes.”
“No, sweetie, that was the fridge.”
I asked a friend of mine by phone what he was doing. He told me he couldn't talk because he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel while under a dangerously constrained environment."
I was impressed. Until the following day when I learned that meant he was "washing dishes with hot water under his upset wife's supervision."
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