Two old guys were chatting...
One said to the other, "My 85th birthday was yesterday.The wife gave me an SUV."
Other guy responded, "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!"
First guy, "Yup... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father: Look up to the sky and tell me what you see.
Son: I see millions of stars...
Father: And what does that tell you?
Son: Astronomically, it tells me that, there are millions of galaxies and planets out there!
Father slaps the son hard on his hand and says, "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent!"
My pig developed a rash, so the veterinarian prescribed an oinkment.
I have had a really good grades since the first grade, my mother is always proud of me every time she sees my report card.
Good thing she doesn't know I always show her the same report card.