Best Jokes

Mr. Johnson: "Honey, it's been a while since the Worthingtons have been over for a visit."

Mrs. Johnson: "And I don't think they'll be back."

Mr. Johnson: "Really? Why?"

Mrs. Johnson: "You insulted Mrs. Worthington's cooking after that last potluck."

Mr. Johnson: "Honey, I never said she was a bad cook, I merely pointed out that since they'd been here, our garbage disposal had developed an ulcer."

Top 5 Signs You Probably Should be Exercising More:

Your five-year-old walking shoes look brand new.

Underneath that pile of cobwebs is your rowing machine

That gym you signed up for has reported you as a missing person

You've switched from wearing belts to bungee cords.

You're got winded just reading this list.

A preacher at a Christian school, wanted to point out the proper behavior for church. He was trying to elicit from the youngsters, rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant.

"Don't play with your food," one second grader cited.

"Don't be loud," said another, and so on.

"And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?" the preacher inquired of one little boy.

Without batting an eye, the child replied, "Order something cheap."

Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor guy.