Question: Why does a Queen carry a scepter?
Answer: Because everyone works 'cept her!
What's the difference between the Pope and your boss?
The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring!
Yesterday my spouse was berating me for checking my email all day as I work from home.
"You know," she complained, "I think that work rules your life."
"No dear," I replied, "you rule my life... I just prefer work."