Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers?
Law-suits!
When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers.
"Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" asked the plaintiff's lawyer.
"Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust," she responded.
"And how did that turn out?"
"I don't know," she said. "Ask me again after I go."
Man in a bar tells his friend he does not believe in coincidences.
His friend said, “OMG, neither do I!”