Best Jokes

Little Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while, he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.

"Fine," said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Little Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers?

Law-suits!

When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers.

"Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" asked the plaintiff's lawyer.

"Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust," she responded.

"And how did that turn out?"

"I don't know," she said. "Ask me again after I go."