Best Jokes

What did the Police Officer say to the woman who was sleeping?

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to do this, but I have to take you in. You're under a rest."

A ten-year-old was watching TV with her Grandma.

The newscaster interrupted the program to announce the outcome of a political election.

"More on candidates at 11pm," he said.

The child exclaimed, "I didn't know they could call politicians 'morons' on national television!"

I asked my doctor why it scratched the skin on the back of my hand when the dog pawed it.

He told me when you get older your skin gets thinner.

Happy to know this... it explains a lot about my disposition too.

Little Johnny was in his first grammar class when the teacher asked him if he could give a simple sentence.

Little Johnny grinned real big and said, " I eat six eggs for breakfast."

His teacher replied, "You mean ate?"

Little Johnny thought for a bit. then said, "Maybe it was eight eggs I eat."