Best Jokes

Amy and Judy are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Amy is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore.

"As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Amy cries.

"I'm so sorry for you. As I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day," replies Judy.

"Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"

Why do French people eat snails?

They don't like fast food!

When Mr. Ed retired from television, he got a job as a telephone psychic. Mary was having relationship problems, called in, and got advice from the old stallion.

Arriving home, she confronted her husband, accusing him of having an affair.

"Where in the world did you get that idea?" he asked.

"I got it from the horse's mouth!"

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed away. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart, and I got a heart attack.

PABLO: God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi. He saw me in darkness, He created light. He saw me without problems, He created YOU.

WIFE: Twinkle, twinkle little star, You should know what you are. And once you know what you are, the mental hospital is not so far.

PABLO: The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful, why doesn’t it rain on you?

WIFE: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Monkeys like u should be kept in ZOO. Don’t feel so angry, you will find me there too, not in cage but laughing at YOU!