Best Jokes

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

A wife announced to her husband that since today was their 25th wedding anniversary she had been dreaming about pearls, a very strong hint indeed.

Her husband replied, "Wait until tonight dear."

That evening, after a delicious dinner, he gave her the wedding anniversary gift. A book entitled, "How to Interpret Dreams."

That's when the fight started.

Amy and Judy are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Amy is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore.

"As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Amy cries.

"I'm so sorry for you. As I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day," replies Judy.

"Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"

Why do French people eat snails?

They don't like fast food!