Best Jokes

Step 1: Name your iPhone "Titanic."

Step 2: Plug it into your computer.

Step 3: When iTunes says "Titanic is syncing," press cancel.

Step 4: Feel like a hero.

I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged.

“So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked.

“I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?”

Why is the moon like a dollar?

It has four quarters.

Having lost most of his hearing a number of years ago, this elderly man goes to the doctor to be fitted with hearing aids which promise to allow him to hear 100%.

A month later, he returns to the doctor for a check up on his progress. The doctor tells him that his hearing is perfect and asks if his family is pleased.

The man says, "Oh, I haven't told them about the hearing aids yet. I just sit around and listen to them talk. I've changed my will three times!"