Best Jokes

“Hello, police department? I’ve lost my cat and… "

“I'm sorry lady, but this is not a police job, you can try calling…"

“But you don’t understand, this is a very intelligent cat. He is almost human. He can practically talk.”

“Well, in that case ma'am, you’d better hang up. He may be trying to call you right now.”

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar...

No joke.

A German man is traveling through Poland when he's stopped at a security checkpoint.

The Polish Security Officer asks, "Where are you traveling from?"

The German man says, "Berlin."

The Polish Security Officer asks, "Occupation?"

The German man says, "No, just visiting."

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today.

She didn't show up.

That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.