If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...
Does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
Father: How did you do in your exams today, Little Johnny?
Little Johnny: I did what George Washington did.
Father: What was that?
Little Johnny: I went down in history.
Doctor: What happens when you have a bladder infection?
Patient: I don't know.
Doctor: Urine trouble.
How do you start a fairy tale in the modern era?
"If elected, I promise..."