If being handsome is a crime...
I would be a law-abiding citizen.
Magic is awesome.
Do you know the name of the magical stick that makes men disappear?
The pregnancy stick.
Doctor (complacently): "You cough more easily this morning."
Patient (querulously): "I should, I've been practicing all night."
Six-year-old Ned's mother was looking through an old family Bible when an oak leaf fell out.
Ned said, "That must be Adam's."