Best Jokes

Julia's mother asked her, "Why are you feeding birdseed to the cat?"

"Because," Julia answered, "that's where my canary is."

What do you do when you see Dracula?

You hope he doesn’t see you!

What do you call an egotistical person serving a prison sentence?

An I-con.

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine,” replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, he clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her, "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.