Best Jokes

One day a woman called an auto mechanic to inquire when he could work on her car. "I'm not busy now," he replied, "bring it right in."

A short time later the woman pulled into the service bay, stopping her small car perfectly over the wide, deep grease pit.

"Wow!" remarked Wayne. "That's great driving. Your wheels only have a couple of inches to spare on each side of the pit."

She looked blankly at him and asked, "What pit?"

At work I've got the ear of my boss...

I'm still not convinced we should pay the ransom.

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.

"That's it! I can never remember that word."

College student: "Hey, Dad -- I've got some great news for you!"

Father: "What, son?"

College student: "Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean's list?"

Father: "I certainly do."

College student: "Well, you get to keep it!"