Best Jokes
Favorite this joke "Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?"
"Yes, this is the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals."
"I want you to send somebody over right away."
"What's wrong?"
"There's a horrid magazine salesman, just sitting in a tree teasing my dog."
I was inspecting a communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm.
"I wonder why he didn't land," I said.
"He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said.
As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented.
"No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time."
"How can you tell?" I asked.
"Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the plow."
Four guys are driving cross-country together -- one from Idaho, one from Iowa, one from Florida, and the last one is from New York.
After a while the man from Idaho starts pulling potatoes from his bag and throwing them out the window. The man from Iowa asks, "What the heck are you doing?" The man from Idaho says, "Man, we have so many of these darned things in Idaho -- I'm sick of looking at them!"
A few more miles, and the man from Iowa begins pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window. The man from Florida asks, "What are you doing?" The man from Iowa replies, "Man, we have so many of these things in Iowa -- I'm sick of looking at them!"
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.
10th Place
won
$5.00
A college professor was giving a big science test. Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to one of them with a $100 bill underneath it. The note read, “One dollar per point please.”
The professor returned the test the following with $40 and a note attached. The note read, “Here's your $40 change.”
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