Why did Adele cross the road?
To say "Hello" from the other side!
Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?................Because love means nothing to them.
Husband calling wife on her cell phone: Did you just try to call me?
Wife: No I didn't. Why?
Husband: Well my phone didn't ring and I just wanted to make sure it was you who wasn't calling!
Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get ear rings?
A: A Buck-an-ear.