Best Jokes

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

A man had been in a meeting that lasted all afternoon and as he walked out, he was tired and just wanted to go home. He reached into his coat pocket and realized his car keys were missing. He looked around but could not find his keys. He went outside to look in the car and discovered his car was gone too.

His car had been stolen. So he called the police, they came and took a report, and then the man called his wife to see if she would be able to come pick him up. She answered the phone and he told her the upsetting news. "Honey, you’re not going to believe this but my car was stolen while I was in the meeting."

There was a long pause, "I dropped you off at your meeting today. I have the car!" she said.

"Oh, that's right! I can't believe I forgot that. I'm glad the car is okay. Well, will you still come back and pick me up?"

She said, "Yes, of course I will. As soon as I convince this cop the car is not stolen."

The crocodile walked into a trendy menswear store, approached the assistant and asked, "Do you have any shirts with pictures of people on the pocket?"

As the bus pulled away, a woman realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later she called the company and was relieved to find out the driver had found it. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers greeted her.

One of the men handed over her handbag and a box. "We're required to inventory found wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything here."

As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse... and we'd like to see just HOW you do it."