Best Jokes

What did the guy say after he fell in a box of seaweed?

"Kelp Me! Kelp Me!"

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe?"

A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company.

The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway.

The sign came back a few days later... "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide."

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."