Question: What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market?
Answer: Start off with a big one.
How does Santa keep the weeds out of his garden?
With a Hoe-Hoe-Hoe.
A pessimist is someone who, when opportunity knocks, complains about the noise.
When we come into this world we're bald, toothless, and wearing diapers...
If we live long enough, we pretty much go out the same way.