Best Jokes

A man was sitting at the bar looking dejectedly into his bottle of beer.

“You look pretty down,” said the guy on the next stool. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I dunno,” sighed the first man. “It’s just that this time last year I had a fantastic job. I was making big money.”

“So?”

“Well, that was the problem. People started noticing the bills were five millimeters too big!”

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a sign on the door saying:

"Dr Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your dog back."

The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Stephen, with a P-H,” I said.

Minutes later, a chair opened up, and his name was called….."Pheven"?