Best Jokes

A man was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made for a wonderful reading. After the man read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all that it says here?"

The agent said, "You most certainly have... why do you ask?"

The man replied, "Cancel the sale, this house is too good to part with!"

To get his mind off his losing streak at the racetrack, I took my friend horseback riding. Being a novice, he freaked when his horse took off.

"How do I get it to slow down?!" he yelled.

"Bet on it!" I hollered back.

I took four tires to a friend’s garage sale and was asking $35 apiece. I needed to step away for a bit so I asked him to watch them for me.

"Sure," he said, "but just in case someone offers less, how low are you willing to go?"

"Try for more, but I will accept $20 each," I said, and left.

When I returned, my tires were gone. "How much did you get for them?" I asked excitedly.

"Twenty dollars each."

"Who bought them?"

"I did!"