Best Jokes

1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.

2. Cats look silly on a leash.

3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

5. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.

6. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won't go at all.

7. Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.

"To do is to be..." -- Descartes.

"To be is to do..." -- Sartre.

"Do be do be do..." – Sinatra!

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean. He asked the clerk.

The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation.

The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."

A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but he was so timid that he never had the courage to speak to her.

In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her, he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble.

"Well," his therapist responded, "if you want to get the girl, you'll just have to be a little boulder!"