Guy: Do you wanna hang out this Friday?
Girl: Sorry, but I am getting married this Friday!
Guy: Wow, well congratulations! Then how about this Saturday?
What do you call a snowman in Florida?
Water.
A football fan's wife says, "I hate it when my husband calls leftovers 'Replays'."
A TV Executive's wife says, "Well my husband calls them 'Reruns'."
Mortician's wife says, "Count yourselves lucky, my husband calls them remains!"
What did the educated sweet potato say?
I think, therefore I yam.