Best Jokes

Now that the new "professor watch" site is in operation, my college professors just stand there and don't know what to say.

Now I just read the books, but my GPA has climbed an entire point!

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere. It's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out...

Good news is I can usually sedate him with three or four cupcakes.

Wife: John, what becomes of a ballplayer when his eyesight starts to fail?

John: They make him an umpire.