Best Jokes

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It's officially that season...

It’s officially the season of letting vague Santa threats do about 80 percent of my parenting.

1 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "nerdasaurus" |
1 votes
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The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Carolina to see who would donate the most blood.

After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a Band-Aid on that arm as well.

As he left the collection facility, the lieutenant passed a colonel. Noting the two bandages, he looked at the first lieutenant and shook his head, saying, "I knew you young guys would find some way to cheat."

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CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
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Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one.

"Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more. "I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.

"Me neither, let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.

"Okay," said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.

As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I love baskin' robins."

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Tomaso" |
1 votes

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

Let's be real here, you are never going to find an elephant that has only one hand!

1 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |