Best Jokes

The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted. “What happened, Honey?” asked his wife.

“It’s a great new idea I have,” he gasped. “I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved $1.50 cents.”

“That wasn’t too smart,” replied his wife. “Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save ten dollars?”

A hunting party is hopelessly lost. “I thought you said you were the best guide in Maine!” one of the hunters angrily said to their confused leader.

“I am, “replied the guide. “But I think we’re in Canada now.”

A young kid found an old lamp. As always the lamp was rubbed and a genie appeared granting 3 wishes.

Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes!

Kid: I wish math didn't exist.

Genie: DONE! You have no more wishes!

Did you hear about the karate expert who joined the army?

The first time he saluted he nearly killed himself.