Best Jokes

$9.00 won 1 votes

Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day.

Me: OK, and how many at night?

1 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |
1 votes

For months Bill had been Lynn's devoted admirer. At long last he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the momentous question.

"There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," Bill began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows."

To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn's eyes. Then she nodded in agreement, "I think it's a wonderful idea! Can I help you pick out a puppy?"

1 votes

posted by "merk" |
$5.00 won 1 votes

A concerned father called his son’s Scout Master. “My son told me that due to a new policy you wouldn’t be bringing any moonshine so he’d be required to bring beer for evening use."

After a low quiet chuckle the Scout Master replied, “No, I said due to a new moon it wouldn’t shine well so make sure you bring a bush light for use after dark.”

1 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 1 votes
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A co-worker asked me, “Could you be any more annoying?”

So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.

1 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |