Best Jokes

I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag.

My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief.

"What's the matter?" I asked him.

"Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."

A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"

"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?"

The pretty lady at the DMV recommended to me that I sign up to be an organ donor....

That's when I realized she was a girl after my own heart!

John: Do you know how big the world's biggest nose was?

David: Eleven inches

John: That's not very long.

David: If it was any longer, it would be a foot.