Best Jokes

Pro tip: if you add coconut oil to your kale...

It makes it easier to scrape it into the trash.

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.

Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed by the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "If your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"

The lawyer replied, "Of course. How much was the roast?"

"$7.98," said the butcher.

A few days later, the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read, Legal Consultation Service: $150.

4 surgeons were discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside them is numbered."

The second responds, "You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable!"

I got my COVID test today, it says 50.

What does that mean?

Also, my IQ test came back positive.