I said to my wife: "When I die I'd like to die having sex."
She replied: “At least it’ll be quick.”
My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine...
He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force!
There is something wrong with my cell phone...
It doesn't have your number in it.
Why are cats such good bakers?
Because they make everything from scratch.