Best Jokes

Q: What food did Dracula bring to the party?

A: Fang-furters!

There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''

An aspiring actor calls his agent from the set of his first film. He is playing the lead role for the first time in his career. “How’s it going?” the agent asks. “It’s amazing!” the actor gushes. “The director told me that my performance is making him consider two films with me.” “Two?” he agent replies. “Yeah,” the actor says, “my first and my last.”

A woman rushes into a hardware store and says, “Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will you be quick, I’ve got a bus to catch!”

“Sorry, ma’am,” said the store clerk, “but we don’t sell ‘em that big!”