Best Jokes

A woman rushes into a hardware store and says, “Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will you be quick, I’ve got a bus to catch!”

“Sorry, ma’am,” said the store clerk, “but we don’t sell ‘em that big!”

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?"

"Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."

How many cups of coffee will this hold?” the man asked as he placed a large thermos on the lunchroom counter.

“Six cups,” advised the waitress.

“Fine,” replied the man. “Give me two cups regular, two cups black, and two with extra cream."

On the way to lunch, a teacher spotted two boys playfully fighting. She asked one of the boys to go to the back of the line and he came back right after.

”Why aren't you at the end of the line?" asked the teacher.

The boy replied, "I couldn't, someone was already there."