What starts with an "O" and ends with "nions" and sometimes make you cry?
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I don't feel I'm fit enough for the job...
I’ve handed in my 'Too Weak' notice.
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bird is wearing a baseball cap.
The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat. Where did you get that?”
The parrot says, “France—they’ve got millions of them there.”
Husband: What's your fee for getting a divorce?
Husband: But you charged only $300 for my marriage license a few years ago!
Lawyer: Freedom is always expensive.