Best Jokes

My boss came to me at lunch, "Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to find you all morning!"

I shrugged and said, "Good employees are hard to find!"

One night four college students were out partying late night and did't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to take the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name…………………….( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tire burst?……………( 98 MARKS )

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right

An American enters a Swiss bank with a giant, heavy sack in each of his hands. He goes to the teller, brings his face close to the glass and whispers, "I have two million dollars with me. I urgently need to open a secret Swiss bank account!"

The Swiss bank teller replies in a normal volume, "Sir, there's no need to whisper. Poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."

Why is 68 afraid of 70?

Because 69 and 70 got into a fight and 71.