Best Jokes

What starts with an "O" and ends with "nions" and sometimes make you cry?

Opinions.

I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I don't feel I'm fit enough for the job...

I’ve handed in my 'Too Weak' notice.

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bird is wearing a baseball cap.

The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat. Where did you get that?”

The parrot says, “France—they’ve got millions of them there.”

Husband: What's your fee for getting a divorce?

Lawyer: $800

Husband: But you charged only $300 for my marriage license a few years ago!

Lawyer: Freedom is always expensive.