Best Jokes

If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be...

There's no need to remind her every half hour.

My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”

I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”

Farmer: "I've arranged my garden so as not to be caught by droughts this summing."

Neighbor: "What did you do?"

Farmer: "I planted my potatoes and onions in alternate rows. The onions will make the potatoes eyes water and reduce the need for water."

I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm.

She asked, "How warm is it inside?"

I said, "Lukewarm."