Husband: What's your fee for getting a divorce?
Lawyer: $800
Husband: But you charged only $300 for my marriage license a few years ago!
Lawyer: Freedom is always expensive.
Bono & The Edge walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Oh no, not U2 again!"
A lady is at a job interview for a receptionist position.
"I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?"
"Well, I just couldn't win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessional."
"If you put your hand in your right pocket and found 25 rupees, and put your hand in the left pocket and found 50 rupees, what would you do?"
"I would immediately rush to my tailor and ask him to stitch more pockets on my trousers!"