The golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “my terrible tee-shot hit one of your hens and killed it. Can I replace the hen?”
“I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. “How many eggs a day do you lay?”
Little Johnny was awaiting the arrival of his piano teacher when his mother inquired, "Little Johnny, did you wash your hands?"
Little Johnny replied, "Yes."
Mother: "And your face?"
Little Johnny: "Yes mother."
Mother: "And did you wash behind your ears?"
Little Johnny: "On her side, I did."
As the after dinner speaker gushed on and on, Deacon Miller nodded, and nodded until his head rested on the table cloth. The chairman reached over and bumped him lightly on the head with his gavel.
Deacon Miller: "Hit me harder, I can still hear him..."