While touring an old Roman prison the first tourist says: "Listen to this. It says here that in some old Roman prisons they have unearthed the petrified remains of some of the prisoners."
Second tourist: "Gracious, that must be where the name 'hardened criminals' originated."
A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge.
Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?
Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery.
Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell.