Best Jokes

One day a man was going home...

Thief: "Stop! Give me your wallet! (The man hands him his wallet.) Ha! See how I fooled you! There are no bullets in this gun."

Man: "Ha! See how I fooled you! There's no money in that wallet!"

Man 1: "Today Facebook saved my life."

Man 2: "How?"

Man 1: "It reminded me about my wife's birthday!"

While touring an old Roman prison the first tourist says: "Listen to this. It says here that in some old Roman prisons they have unearthed the petrified remains of some of the prisoners."

Second tourist: "Gracious, that must be where the name 'hardened criminals' originated."

A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge.

Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?

Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery.

Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell.