Best Jokes

My son’s math teacher called him average...

I just think he’s mean.

Milkman (to new hand): "Did you put water in the milk this morning?"

New hand: "Yes sir."

Milkman: "Don't you know this is wicked?"

"But you told me to mix water with the milk?"

"Yes, but I told you to put the water in first and then pour the milk into it. Then, you see, we can tell the people we never put water in our milk."

Mary Jane: "Your husband's birthday is coming up. What are you getting him?"

Wife: "Oh, 100 of his favorite cigars."

Mary Jane: "What did you pay for them?"

Wife: "Nothing! For the last few months I have taken one or two from his box daily. He has not noticed and will be delighted with my ability in getting the kind he always smoked."

As the cruise ship was departing port, a well dressed passenger approached the Captain. Pointing to the distant hills she asked, "What is that white stuff?"

The Captain replied, "That is snow, madam."

"Well," remarked the lady, "I thought so. But a gentleman told me it was Greece."