Best Jokes

How was Rome split in two?

With a pair of Ceasars.

A 5 year old kid opened his birthday present to find a new toy car. He went up to his father who had just finished dying his hair. The kid was upset. “Dad, I wanted a red toy car and not a blue one.”

The father replied, “A car is a car. Red or blue, color doesn’t matter.”

The kid said, “Then dad, hair is hair. White or black, color doesn’t matter.”

Did you know that 97% of the world is dumb?

Luckily I’m in the other 5%!

A man is applying for a job in a circus. The interviewer asks: "So what can you do?"

"I can do a really good bird impression" replied the man

"Oh we already have people who do that here, we won't be needing you for that"

"Oh well," the man said sadly and flew away.