Best Jokes

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."

I used to be in a band called The Hinges...

We opened for The Doors!

Doctor: "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?"

Patient: “Good new please!”

Doctor: “Well, we’re naming a disease after you...”