Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy.
Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking.
Patient: I don't drink and have never touched a drop in my life.
Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking.
Patient: I don't smoke either doctor.
Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.
Patient: Good heavens! I haven't had a girlfriend in my entire life.
Doctor: Your problem is you have no problems! Get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, find a girlfriend or two, and then you will be alright.
The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss the matter.
Dad: "This is unacceptable, I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone."
Mom: "Me too, I use my company phone. I hardly use the home phone."
Son: "I use my office mobile. I never use the home phone."
All of them shocked turned to look at the maid who was patiently listening to them all this time.
Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones, what is the big deal?"