During history class the teacher was discussing George Washington.
"George Washington, not only did he chopped down his cherry tree," the teacher explained, "but he also admitted to doing it. Does anyone know why his father did not punish him? "
After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny answered, "Maybe because George still had the ax in his hand?"
After separate but lengthy trials two guys meet in a prison-cell and tried to get the upper or lower bunk.
PRISONER #1: How long are you here for?
PRISONER#2 : Twenty-seven years. Hwo long are you in for?
PRISIONER #1 : Twenty-five years.
PRISONER #2 : Well,then, you sleep by the door: you'll get out before me.
THINGS THAT IS DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
2. British Constitution
3. Passive- aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Nope, no more beer for me.
2. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
3. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.