Best Jokes

Two old settlers out in the FAR WEST, confirmed bachelors, got to talking about cooking.

"I got one of them cookery books once, but I could do nothing with it."

"Too much fancy work in it, eh?"

"You said it! Every one o'them recipes began the same way... 'Take out a clean dish'... that settled me."

Why do you pronounce “queue” as “q”?

Because the other letters are waiting in line.

Wife: "I'm pregnant...."

Dad: "Hi pregnant, I’m dad!"

Wife: "No, no you’re not."

Ms. Warner: "Well, how are you getting on in your new eight room house?"

Ms. Kyle: "Oh, not so badly. We furnished one of the bedrooms by collecting soap coupons."

Ms. Warner: "Didn't you furnished the other seven rooms?"

Ms. Kyle: "We can't. They are full of the soap."