Best Jokes

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bird is wearing a baseball cap.

The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat. Where did you get that?”

The parrot says, “France—they’ve got millions of them there.”

Husband: What's your fee for getting a divorce?

Lawyer: $800

Husband: But you charged only $300 for my marriage license a few years ago!

Lawyer: Freedom is always expensive.

Bono & The Edge walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Oh no, not U2 again!"

A lady is at a job interview for a receptionist position.

"I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?"

"Well, I just couldn't win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessional."